The Hospital Stay

After we were taken to the ward and Jay had left I just sat and stared at Toby. Taking in all of his features and the little faces he was pulling. I knew I should sleep but I needed some time to take in everything that had happened and my new son.

I finally drifted off to sleep at around 1am, only to be woken suddenly by Toby choking on something. I absolutely freaked out (I was totally amazed how quick I could move considering how sore I was!!), called for help and turned Toby on his side. He was bringing up "stuff", I assumed it is amniotic fluid! Why did no one tell me this?? It scared the life out of me!! Once he had settled down I climbed back into bed, just falling asleep and I hear a voice at my curtain. It was the paediatrician wanting to check on Toby so up I got again! She finished and both Toby and I settled back to sleep, I had just drifted off and there was another voice at the curtain. Due to the labour complications I needed to be on intravenous antibiotics for a couple of days, the midwife needed to hook me up to the drip. The only spot suitable was in the inside of my elbow, not a convenient place to put a needle when trying to learn how to feed a newborn! By time she was finished it was around 5 am, Toby was waking for a feed!! No sleep for me, alas.

Due to the vacuum delivery poor little Toby had a haematoma on his head, it was very sore. If anyone touched him there he would scream. Between the drip and me worrying about hurting him the feeding wasn't going to well. By the end of Toby's first day he was starting to show signs of jaundice. Due to the jaundice he was very sleepy all the time, I was told to wake him up every three hours and try and feed him. The problem was, he was too sleepy to feed. I had to have a wet washer handy and every time he fell asleep while feeding I used the wet washer to wake him up. It was all a bit of a mess. I did my best to feed him as much as I could but the jaundice just got worse. When there was a change in staff my new midwife worked with me all through the night to try and get my milk in as this would help Toby get better. Another sleepless night but it was worth it because the next morning my milk had arrived.

I was now going on to 36 hours with minimal sleep, maybe two hour blocks at the most. I was pretty tired. I thought I would be going home today, I was looking forward to taking my baby home. The doctors wanted to check the bilirubin levels in Toby. I remember them taking Toby's blood, every other day he had been fine but today he screamed the house down, broke my heart. His poor little feet were covered in marks where he had blood taken. Here is one of his little feet, the other one looked the same.

We were all hoping the levels of bilirubin had gone down but sadly they hadn't, they were now at a level that required photo therapy. Instead of going home I had to pack up my belongings and move to a private room. The midwife organised the photo therapy and late morning Toby started the therapy.

He hated it. As they were trying to place him in he screamed and fought the whole way. I was trying to comfort him but nothing would. I couldn't hold him, I am sure he just wanted his mum but he needed to therapy. The tears started falling down my cheeks, my baby was crying for me and I couldn't comfort him how he needed me too. I felt helpless and as though I was failing to mother him how he needed me too. The poor midwife had a distraught baby and a distraught mum! After three days of very little sleep I had no energy to deal with the emotions. Looks like he is getting a sun tan!

 
Toby was only allowed out for his 3 hourly feeds. After the lunch feed the midwife was putting him back in and she noticed his breathing wasn't right so she said she was going to call the paediatrician to come and see him. This made me cry even more!! I thought it was something similar to what was wrong with him when he was born. They took some more blood tests and sent them away. A couple of hours later the paediatrician came back to tell me the results, he had an infection. I was actually relieved that it wasn't his breathing because you can treat an infection. They didn't know what the infection was but had sent his blood away to see if they could identify it. In the meantime Toby was re-admitted into the special care nursery and a drip inserted so they could administer the antibiotics. I was still crying!!

I had to leave him in the special care nursery and return to my room on the ward. I hated not having him in the same room. The midwives were still really worried about me so they helped me express enough milk for Toby's 4 am feed so I could get some sleep. I slept for 4 hours, which is the most I had managed in 4 nights! Amazingly, I woke up somewhat refreshed and a bit more composed. At 6 am I went around to the special care nursery and fed Toby, he was looking good. Not so orange!! I was there for the doctors rounds and the latest results for Toby had come in and the jaundice was now are a reasonable level. He no longer needed to be under the photo therapy. The other good news was that I could take him back to my room and I would take him back to the special care nursery just for his antibiotics. I was so happy to have him back, I don't think I let him go all day. Here he is, my brave little boy!

After he was first born he was so quiet and slept so well. I thought I had just given birth to the perfect baby!! Turns out he was just sick and once he received the medication required he started getting a lot more vocal. Honestly, I couldn't have been happier! Toby was on antibiotics from Tuesday afternoon till Thursday night. On Thursday night we were told that the infection could not be identified but they think he contracted it because of the long labour. It was good news though, if it was identified as something serious we would  have been in hospital for longer. After his last dose of antibiotics Toby was discharge from the special care nursery and on Friday morning we were both discharged from the ward. We had this photo taken on the Friday morning:

Exactly a week after we arrived at the hospital to be induced we were discharged.We could finally take our boy home!

Reflecting on this time I have so much to be thankful for. I was given a private room for most of my stay, just what I needed! I was allowed to stay with Toby for the whole time, often mums who have babies in the special care nursery are sent home and have to travel to the hospital to feed. But the biggest thing I am thankful for is the jaundice, if it wasn't for the need of photo therapy I doubt the infection would have been picked up till much later. Then Toby would have had to been admitted back into hospital. I also have the staff at Sunshine Hospital to thank, their care and attention was fantastic. As hard as it all was I truly believe we were being watched over and looked after, which I am grateful for.