Sunday, November 10, 2013

My big-headed boy!

The words I fear most in this world are - "There might be something wrong with your baby..."

I booked Toby into his 8 month check up and went along feeling incredibly confident that all was ok. Before the appointment I went through my green book checking what he should be doing and in my opinion, he was meeting all his milestones. I am sure this visit would be just a simple weigh in and health check and then be sent on my merry way. Oh how wrong I was!

We arrived and the nurse checked out Toby, as they always do. Measured and weighed him, that is where the problem was. His head had some "accelerated head growth". Plus, according to the Maternal Health Nurse, his fontanelle was too big, which can be a sign of development delays. The nurse tried to reassure me that he was not showing any sign of a delay, he was not only meeting his milestones, he was a little ahead. But it was too late, the damage was done. He is my little boy, my perfect little boy and you are telling me there might be something wrong with him?

I held it together till I was in my car, then the tears started. I can no longer see any reason when someone in the medical field says there is something wrong with Toby. I immediately turn into an emotional mess. My anxiety surrounding Toby's growth and development has been there since he was conceived.

Following the advice from the Maternal Health Nurse I booked in a doctors appointment for the next day. I went along to my doctor and he looked at Toby's growth charts, he agreed with the nurse on all accounts. He then wrote a referral to see a Paediatrician and faxed it off for me. As soon as I left the doctors I rang the Paediatrician and pushed for an appointment the next day, I got one.

That night I stared at Toby's charts, spoke to friends who were in the medical profession, googled a lot and cried! So thankful for the friends who were there for me, they were constantly praying, texting and continually encouraging me, I appreciate them more than words can express!

Toby's appointment was at 10 am the next morning. The Paediatrician was lovely, Toby happily played in her room while I answered all the questions she had. It was then time for her to examine Toby, by this time he was seriously over people touching his head!! After the examination the Paediatrician told me that I need to go to the Royal Children's Hospital. I looked at her a little shocked and asked if she meant right now, today. Her reply was yes, right now and she was calling ahead to let them know I was on my way. Toby needed further tests as she suspected he might have fluid on the brain, Hydrocephalus. I said ok, held myself together while I paid for the consultation and organised all the paper work from the Paediatrician for the hospital.

Once in the car I called Jay but couldn't really talk because of the tears. Even now writing this causes the same emotion. My beautiful boy. The emotions of a mother will never be understood by anyone until they become a mum. I drove to the hospital imagining all the worst case scenario's, even imagining him having brain surgery!

I arrived at the hospital and went straight to triage. The nurse entered his details and sure enough there were already notes on his file from a doctor, who my Paediatrician obviously contacted. We were taken around to the ultrasound waiting room. They said they were fully booked for the day but would fit Toby in as soon as they could. Thankfully my brother came and sat with us, his support was appreciated. And I needed nappies! I had planned on going to the shops straight after seeing the Paediatrician to buy nappies!! Of course, that didn't happen. After an hour or so Toby's  name was called. I stared at the screen while the ultrasound was being done trying to work out what he was seeing and if it was good or bad, of course, I had no idea!!!!

After the ultrasound we went back into the waiting room and waited, and waited, and waited, and waited.

Toby was his normal happy self, no idea what was going on!


Toby loved watching and yelling at the fish in the huge aquarium.


He even managed to have a bit of a snooze.


Finally, 6 hours after arriving at the hospital Toby's name was called. We went in to talk to the Hospital Paediatrician about the results. I don't remember her name, but I remember how amazing she was. The Paediatrician read out the results from the ultrasound "No excess fluid found, perfect amount of grey matter", his brain was fine. Thank God for that. She then measured my head, turns out it is on the 98th centile, it is big (more ways than one). The paediatrician said that he just has a big head. I asked her about the fontanelle and the chances of a delay. She was very sweet and went through every possible disease linked to large heads and fontanelle's and why Toby doesn't have it. Toby was sitting on my lap clapping at everything she was saying, it was very cute. She said that he was a perfect little boy, the fontanelle seemed fine to her, and it will close in good time. The relief I felt cannot be put into words, he was ok.

I came home absolutely exhausted but I am so thankful that I live in a country with such amazing medical care. I may have had to wait for a long time but that doesn't matter, my baby boy was seen to that day and received top medical care and advice.

Just to be sure his head was ok, I needed to get it measured again in six weeks time to make sure it is not still growing at the same rate. Back to the Maternal Health Nurse we went, and it had only grown .5 of a cm in the 6 weeks but his boy had grown 2 cm's! He is now back in proportion and there is no more worry about his head!!!! Maybe he was in the middle of a growth spurt and his head grew first? He does need an additional graph in his green book because he is officially off the charts! I have a big, perfect and happy little boy. All this was stressful and emotion but I am so thankful he is ok. While it caused a lot of drama I am still glad the Nurse brought it to my attention, if there was something wrong, its best to get onto these things early.

I just think he is super smart needs a big head to contain all his brains! ;)